A Scary Kind of Love

Personal Experiences, romance

reminiscing

 

I don’t think it’s even the fact that you’re gone that makes me so sad. I don’t think it’s who you chose over me. I think it’s the fact that after everything, you chose someone else. After I invested my time, my energy, after being there for you whenever and in any way I could be, you still chose someone else. That hurts you know? Giving your all to someone and watching them walk away as if it’s nothing.

I was so ready to be everything for you. To be your light, to sit with you in your darkness and to help to make you one of the greatest men who ever walked this Earth. But you were ready for a different kind of love or … infatuation. A half love that I do not know how to provide.

There were nights you know where I questioned if I wasn’t doing enough. If I wasn’t enough. If you couldn’t see that I really did love you. That I meant every word I said. That unlike the others, I would be here, through thick and thin.

I know now that I was enough. That I’m more than enough. I wonder though if I scared you with my love. You know, sometimes we’re so used to a thing that when something new and completely different comes we don’t know how to respond to it? Maybe you weren’t used to a love so unconditional. A love that didn’t demand much of you but for you to be you. Maybe that’s why you walked away.

And you know I get that. I do because sometimes I even scare myself with all the love I have to give and how I would do anything for the ones I love.

  • N.S.H

(Animation source: giphy.com)

 

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