God knows there are so many days I honestly just feel like walking away and just giving up. I feel down. I feel frustrated. I feel like everything I am doing is in vain. I sit down and have a good cry and I just become demotivated. I don’t do anything. I sit and stare at the ceiling. It’s really hard to keep going on and pushing and being determined when it seems like the whole universe is against you. It’s like Jah Cure’s song, “every time you take one step, something pulls you back”. You try so hard to be on top of your game. To be ahead. To be organized. To just have everything together. And boy, sometimes it’s like it makes no sense. And you know what’s worse? You feel alone. You feel like there’s no one to help you. No one to turn to. No shoulder to cry on. Nobody to listen to you. No one to comfort you. It’s just you in your fight. You alone struggling with everything.
So it’s like really, what’s the point? Why should I go on? Why should I sit here struggling? Why must I lose sleep? Why should I persevere? What reason do I really have?
I don’t know your situation. I don’t know your struggle. But I do know that you must go on. You just can’t stop. It’s hard. I know it’s hard. It’s damn hard. It’s rough. Situation’s sticky. But you have got to keep pressing. You can’t stop here.
Nothing good comes easy. A famous Jamaican saying goes “if yuh want good, yuh nose haffi run”. It’s true. Just try and think ahead. It may be long but not forever. One day you’ll see that all your hardship was not in vain. That you went through struggle after struggle and it took you straight to the top. If looking ahead doesn’t help, then look at your current situation. I don’t know about anyone else but while I may live fairly comfortably now, I still want better than this because I know there is better. I want to be able to give my children all I had and never had. I want to repay my parents. I want to be in a position to help people. And simply, settling for just anything and giving up isn’t going to help me. So just try, dig deep and find that motivation to keep going on. It’s not easy. It will never be. But trust me, this journey is worth it.